Stooperhero

If I could choose just one amazing superhero power, it would be the ability to leave cool, nonchalent, natural sounding voicemails. Wouldn't that kick ASS? Instead of sounding like an absolute TOOL, I would leave the recipient with the impression that I am a cool and classy lady who has her shit together. I would be the envy of all mankind! (Except for all those starving people in third world countries who don't have phones, but who the hell cares about THEM?) And if I was feeling really altruistic, I could impart my knowledge to other unfortunate, less voicemail-articulate individuals. The world would be such a better place! No more "um, uh, hi, it's me, I, uh, was just, uh, calling to, uh, see if you, like, maybe wanted to, um, do something later or whatever..." Oh no, none of that! And in addition to eliminating toolish sounding voicemails, I would also ensure that the proper information is provided in each message: the name of the caller, the purpose for the call, and the manner in which the caller can be reached. Such important things, which are now so frequently overlooked, would no longer be ignored on my watch! For I would be Awesome Voicemail Leaver Girl!