Recommended Daily Allowance

It has been brought to my attention on several occasions that I do not maintain a particularly healthy diet. (Most recently, dear Center made the astute observation: "JESUS, Killy. You eat CRAP!")

It's true. I shamelessly consume Pop Tarts and Oatmeal Creme Pies (OCPs) and call them "breakfast," I have a proclivity for microwaveable dinners, I thrive on Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, and I eat way more fast food than could ever be considered healthy (although I've cut back on this since I've been broke).

I have vowed in the past to eat more healthfully. I have promised to exercise and stop eating Nerds Ropes and ramen noodles.

I am full of shit. That's right... completely fully of shit.

It will be a cold day in Hell when I give up Toaster Struedels, Hot Pockets, and those little Keebler cookies shaped like elves. I may die early of diabetes and heart disease from the overabundance of sugar and salt in my diet, but damnit, I'll die happy.