A Series of Nearly Unfortunate Events

I had a job interview today. Overall, I think it went fairly well, which was surprising in light of all the things that very nearly went wrong.

First things first, it was unwise to wear my cute, girlie, pointy-toed, high-heeled dress shoes. When I put them on, I wasn't thinking about all the official- and purposeful-looking walking I was going to be doing in my snazzy business suit around DC. By the end of the day, my poor not-so-little tootsies looked all red and mangled.

Thing the second: the snazzy business suit. No matter how breathable a material is, if it is long-sleeved and black, it's going to roast you alive in the 100-degree city heat. And I'm a sweater anyway, so the suit merely exacerbated the perspiration problem. Luckily, I managed to get it (mostly) under control before the actual interview.

Number three: also on the topic of my outfit, I was wearing a nice, white button-down shirt beneath my snazzy suit jacket. Unbeknownst to me, the buttons on this shirt are made of some kind of space-aged impossibly slippery material, which means that they just slide right on out of their respective button-holes at the slightest provocation. This resulted, on more than one occasion, in the brief exposure of my breasts to the Metro-riding public. Once I was aware of this button defect, I was able to maintain the appropriate level of vigilance to ensure that such a boob-exposing wardrobe malfunction would not occur during my interview. I swear, I never used to have problems with my boobs! I miss my B-cups. Which reminds me, I need to dig up an undershirt to wear under my dress shirt for my interview tomorrow (yeah, I've got another one), 'cause this particular shirt has gapping tendencies in the chestal region (i.e., my breasts are too big for my fucking shirt).

So to sum up, I sweated like a pig, I developed a newfound understanding of the pain associated with foot-binding, and I accidentally flashed some unsuspecting tourists on the Orange Line. But I looked damn professional in that suit.

How was your day?