Ranch Dressing Nation

We are a nation of ranch dressing eaters. Now don't get me wrong -- I have been known to enjoy ranch dressing on a great many food items -- but let's face it, ranch just ain't classy. Which pretty much makes it an accurate representation of our culture. You know what would happen if you ordered ranch dressing on your salad at a fancy French restaurant? They would LAUGH IN YOUR FACE... or at least spit in your food. Most Americans wouldn't like "fancy" salad anyway, 'cause it has actual greens and vegetables in it rather than iceburg lettuce and those nasty dried out shredded carrots that you get in the bagged salad you buy at Food Lion.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have some baby carrots and fat free Hidden Valley Ranch waiting for me in the fridge.