What do my hair and the Red Sea have in common?

A freakin' PART.

Years of being relatively long and parted have trained my hair. Even though it's short and kinda spikey now, it still wants to part down the middle or thereabouts. And it looks doofy, really doofy. I must quell it of this "parting" notion! It must be taught! IT WILL OBEY ME!

I WILL GET FIRED IF I KEEP BLOGGING AT WORK!