let this be a lesson...

I have been smote by the hand of the Don't-Eat-Your-Roommate's-Food-Especially-Without-Asking (DEYRFEWA) god. Around four o'clock this morning, I was doing some reading for class (combo of insomnia and necessity to actually do some fucking work), and I needed a snack. I stumbled to the fridge (I struggle enough to walk during normal waking hours), sliced up some cheese (the last vestige of actual food I have left in the apartment... I really need to go grocery shopping), and then I spotted a packet of pre-sliced pepperoni. Said pepperoni was not mine, but everyone knows that pepperoni and cheese go together like... two things that go together really well... so I grabbed a few slices and made my way back to my stack o' reading in the living room. I enjoyed my tasty snack, not realizing that the cheese (sharp cheddar) was masking the slightly... off... taste of the pepperoni. An hour or so later, after I had finally collapsed in an exhausted heap on my sad, tiny twin bed, I realized the flagrant error of my ways. I had consumed the Pepperoni of DOOM. Violent abdominal cramps ensued. I staggered to the fridge to examine the offending foodstuffs. Sure enough, the pepperoni was damn old. It had never occurred to me to check the expiration date BEFORE I consumed the near deadly meat product.

So I dragged my ass back into my sad little bed and writhed in pain for an indeterminate period of time, until I finally drifted back to sleep. Needless to say, I missed work and class today. And a quiz. A quiz I can't make up (because my professor is Satan's little brother and doesn't "believe" in make-up quizzes). It's a good thing I don't actually need to pass that class to graduate... even though failing it would seriously fuck my already waning GPA. Ah, well, I'll just have to study extra hard and ace the upcoming mini-exam on the origin and nature of the universe. Yeah, you heard me. The universe. Vast (possibly limitless), mind bending possibilities. This class is reducing my brain to Cream of Wheat.