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You wouldn't know it from looking at me, but I am not a particularly healthy individual. I've got shit WRONG with me.

I take 2 inhalers, 5 pills, and a bigass vitamin every day; most of the staff of my new doctor's office already knows who I am; and I have run out of sick days at work because I've spent so much time being poked and prodded and stabbed by medical "professionals." I am the reason insurance premiums are so fucking high. Pharmacists HATE me because they don't work on commission. The physician's assistant who examined me today kept asking me how old I am, as if she just couldn't believe that someone with such a long medical rap sheet is only 22 years old.

I went in for a "routine" physical a few weeks ago (for the first time in about 5 years), and the results are finally in. My liver and kidneys are functioning normally (these are two of the only major organs that have not yet failed me in some manner), my blood sugar is fine, and my cholesterol is too high (the PA gave me the "get up off your lazy ass and stop eating Hot Pockets" lecture). The doctor was initially concerned that my thyroid was a bit enlarged, so he had the lab check my thyroid hormone levels, too. Those were "okay," but he's still concerned about the burgeoning size of my gland, so I get to have a super-fun ultrasound of my neck region tomorrow morning! Just what I always wanted! This means that I will be missing another morning of work, which normally wouldn't bother me, except that, as I mentioned before, I am out of sick leave, which means that I don't get paid for the time I spend out of the office, which I can't afford. So the plan is to get to work a little early, arrange my desk to look like I'm "busy," then duck out for a few hours and hope no one notices. It's worked before; it should work again. Ah, the beauty of having a basement office... you could die down here and no one would notice 'til you missed your deadline.