So long, Suntrust!

Au revoir, assholes! I'm finally moving on. That's right -- I've HAD IT with Suntrust. I have been forgiving and forgetting their mediocre banking services for the last five years. No more! I'm finished! Finito!

They have gratuitously overcharged me on overdraft fees. They have held my deposited checks for up to TWO WEEKS before allowing them to clear. They have ordered deposit slips for me when I explicitly asked for checks... on more than one occasion. When I got my replacement checks, they neglected to remove my father's name from them (which I specifically asked them to take off), so it looks like he's my husband. Their ATM near my college was chronically out of order. And now, the last straw: I went in today to have them remove my father's name from my bank account, once and for all. You see, when I opened the account 5 years ago (when I was still a student, and a minor), it was set up as a student account, with my father's name on it, in addition to my own. When I graduated from college, I had them upgrade it to a regular account, but for some reason, they failed to remove my dad's name from the account (which, again, I had asked them to do when they made the account change). So when I went in today to remedy the situation, they told me that the only way I can get him off the account is to close the account and open a new one.

Oh, HELL no. Sure, I'll be closing my account... but I won't be opening another one. Not at Suntrust. There are limits to how much bullshit I can take.

So next week, I'm withdrawing all my money (which consists of 18 cents, plus the paycheck I deposited yesterday that won't clear until MONDAY AFTERNOON) from Suntrust, marching across Dupont Circle, and opening a spankin' new account at Bank of America. Just watch me. I may even do a little dance.