I just don't know...

I'm really tired and kind of tipsy (okay, I'm drunk), so bear with me. It's been a long week.

Mixed feelings on today. Turned in sub-par history paper, which I HATE doing. It really bugs me when I don't do my best work, no matter how many excellent excuses I have. STILL haven't been paid for my work at the newspaper. Haven't seen a dime for that since AUGUST. A girl's gotta eat (and drink)! After a short afternoon of menial clerical grunt-work today at the history department, I promtly retreated to my apartment, which stank of cat shit, and proceeded to accidentally fall asleep face-down, facing the wrong way on my bed. I think I just kinda collapsed there. I really have no recollection. Was awakened by phone call from Beth, asking me when I wanted to leave for Busch Gardens. Realized I had drooled a huge puddle on my comforter. Gross. Beth and I arrived at the park around 5 and met up with Hillary and some of her crew (most of whom I am at least acquainted with, so it was cool) for dinner, then set off to hit up some roller coasters (wheeee!). It was all well and good until we got to the first roller coaster and Beth (who was originally totally psyched about Busch Gardens Day) decided to sit it out with Hillary (who doesn't do roller coasters at all). That would've been okay, except that when I got off the ride, Beth had left. Hillary said she had mentioned something about a headache, so she went home. Great. I had left my keys and wallet in Beth's car.

Side note on Beth. I consider her one of my closest friends, and I love her to death, but I'm getting really tired of her EXTREME mood swings. I just wish she'd open up and tell me what's bothering her, but she gets so goddamn emotionally distant, it's impossible to figure out what's going on inside her head. She never lets anyone in, yet she complains about being alone. As a fellow ice queen, I can commisserate with the urge to push people away, but we've known each other for quite a few years now, and I still can't even begin to figure her out. The whole distance thing was NOT helped by my recent sexual revelation. I'm afraid that I really freaked her out. I guess she just needs some time to get used to it, but SO DO I, and it would be really nice for my friend to be there for me as I adjust. Maybe that's too much to ask. I would talk to her about it, but I doubt it'd get me anywhere... I'd need a backhoe to dig through all the crap she hides behind.

So I spent the rest of the afternoon/evening at B.G. with Hillary and co. and had a pretty good time... rode some coasters, ran away from the scary-ass, demented "Howl O Scream" clowns, watched lame song/dance productions, the whole nine yards. Hung out with Skip and his girlfriend C. while the others went on the crazy spinny rides (I don't do those anymore... they make me spew), which was cool. I've known Skip since sophomore year (when he was my philosophy study-buddy and I had a crush on him), and he's a really great guy (one of the best), and C. is such a sweetheart (she's one of my fellow copy editors... Skip's the editor in chief of the paper). They are officially the cutest couple EVER. I'm so jealous! Not of C. for having Skip... I'm over that crush... but of their relationship. I want someone to be all cute with and PERFECT FOR. UGH! Okay, I need to cut myself off on the drinking... I'm starting to get bitter. I guess the fact that, even before I threw the sexuality monkey wrench into the mix, I've never been in a serious relationship is starting to get me down. Well, at least I have a cat now. I'm well on my way to old-maidhood. All I need now is a few muu-muus, some granny-slippers, and a shotgun to chase the whippersnappers off my property.

Sigh.

Anyway, after we were all roller-coastered out and the "get the hell out, the park is closing" announcements had been sounded, we made our way for the exit. I stopped at the stoOpid hat shop and bought a big, ugly, orange squid hat (pictures later). Then we hiked what felt like ten miles to get to Hillary's car, which we couldn't find. It took us an extra ten minutes to track it down. Called Beth about 10 times, but she wasn't picking up her cell phone, and they don't even have a land-line in their apartment because they figured their cell phones would be sufficient, which they would be if they EVER FREAKING ANSWERED THEM. Finally just ended up showing up on Beth's doorstep and ringing the bell incessantly until she came out and gave me my damn keys. No one was able to make it to my place to hang out tonight, so I watched late-night standup comedy on Comedy Central and BET (haha) and drank alone. Healthy.

Aaand I'm having to correct WAY too much of my spelling now. And I'm truly impressed if any of you made it all the way through that entry. Blech. Time for bed.