Interlude/Flashback

Before I tell the tale of Killy's traumatic tween years, I feel it is necessary to provide a bit more background. Certain elements were omitted from the first volume of the autobiography, and these elements are essential in understanding how Killy turned out the way she did.

For as far back into her childhood as Killy can remember, Christianity was a powerful presence in her life. Her family went to church every Sunday (no matter how much she whined about being dragged out of bed so early), they prayed before every meal, and the sounds of contemporary Christian music constantly lilted about the house. Killy's mother was a member of the church choir, and her father was on the deacon board at the small fundamentalist church they attended. Every summer Killy went to "Vacation Bible School," where she memorized Bible verses (one or two of which she actually still remembers now), made arts and crafts, and participated in various other "wholesome fun" activities.

Even as a "carefree" child, Killy felt a little out of place with the other kids at church... most of them lived in the surrounding counties and attended county schools. Killy was one of the only "city" kids there and never really connected with the other children. For this reason, she never got deeply involved with the church's popular youth group when she entered adolescence.

Killy always had a slightly overdeveloped sense of responsibility. She spent a great deal of time and energy trying to do the "right" thing, which at times manifested itself as extreme and almost debilitating perfectionism. Her first major academic meltdown occurred in the third grade when she had difficulty memorizing her multiplication tables. Such meltdowns would become more frequent as her schooling progressed and became more challenging. In fact, it was not until the age of 19, when Killy finally broke down and sought professional therapy, that she was able to begin curbing her overly perfectionistic tendencies. She is still working on eliminating "Don't fuck up." as her personal mantra. (Although Killy didn't say "fuck" at all until well after becoming a legal adult. There was no swearing in her home when she was growing up. Until her mother flipped out and starting cursing like a sailor, but that's a story for later.) Though her desperate fear of failure is far less oppressive, it is still a major driving force. She hates to disappoint people.

And now, gentle readers, you are ready for the next installment of "Killy's Slightly Amended Autobiography" ... which she will write later, when she feels like it... and after she has done her homework, which she has put off all weekend.