The post formerly entitled "Reason # 8,679 Why I am Never Procreating" shall henceforth be known as "Hot Poop Stinks Bad." Thank you.

Okay, so there are a lot of reasons why I really can't imagine myself spawning -- the excruciating pain of childbirth (these are NOT birthin' hips); the fact that I'd have to go off of all my happy, happy (prescription) drugs if I ever got pregnant; the fact that I wouldn't wish my gawdforsaken genes on ANYONE; etc.

New reason! Kids shit. A lot. I don't like to clean up shit. Now, I'm okay with cleaning out Louie's litter box. The shit is contained, the stench mostly neutralized by the gritty kitty litter. I was thoroughly appalled, however, when I was forced to clean out his travel carrier after he SHAT PROFUSELY in it on my way back to school. I was about a half an hour away from my destination, when I caught a whiff of something foul. Sure enough, my little furry precious had unleashed his fury in his cage in the back seat. I coughed, sputtered, cursed, rolled down all the windows, and picked up the pace. When we arrived at my apartment, I realized that he had rolled in the shit, spreading it all over the carrier AND getting it in his fur. GROSS. So I wiped down the cat carrier with Lysol and forced the cat into the bath tub for a thorough cleansing. He was not happy. I was even less extatic.

This cat is definitely the closest thing to a grandchild my parents are gonna get from me.