Shits and Giggles

Shits:
~ Slippery moss-slime on brick sidewalk in front of history building that made me fall on my ass.
~ Bicyclists who weave in and out between people and cars like they're fucking Evil Knievel.
~ Getting stuck behind the assclown in the white Toyota Tundra driving FIFTEEN MILES PER HOUR.
~ Fucking FedEx truck blocking me into my parking space. AND THE PACKAGE WASN'T EVEN FOR ME! I WANT MY SHOES, GODDAMMIT! This only reinforces my hatred of FedEx trucks, which began when I was run off the road on my bicycle by one a few years ago.
~ The fact that I paid 170 smackers for a parking pass and STILL end up parking in Southeast Asia.
~ My goddamn pharmacy "forgot" to mail me my prescription. I will therefore be without my heart medication for the next couple of days. Wheee!
~ The tongues on my Chucks will NOT stay put! They keep sliding off to the sides. I'm a perfectionist. This bugs me.
~ Countless days of Queen's "Bicycle Race" stuck inextricably in my head. On repeat.

Giggles:
~ It has recently been brought to my attention that I'm an "angry" drunk. I find this amusing. So if I say something particularly bitchy to any of you while intoxicated, I apologize in advance.
~ It has also been brought to my attention by one of my friends that I "got really cute". I'm not sure whether to take this at face value and be flattered, or to infer that I was previously uncute and therefore be offended. Whatever.
~ Speaking of "whatever", my father has informed me that that is his new philosophy in dealing with my increasingly bitchy sister. I also find this amusing. "Dad, I don't wanna move." "Whatever." "If you really loved me you'd give me what I want." "Whatever." "You're totally ruining my life!" "Whatever." HA!

That's all for now, folks. I'm off to (attempt to) procure a dress to wear to my dad's wedding on Saturday. I'm not much of a dress person, so this should be interesting.