Merde!

Okay, so today wasn't a total loss. But there were definitely some shit-like qualities at work. And I'm afraid I mean that in quite a literal sense.

The day started off promisingly enough... I picked up Lynn (who has no car) and took her to campus with me (we both have 9:30 classes), scarfed down an OCP on the way, and parked in Ticonderoga. Hey, it's closer than South Africa! Class (my grad-level bio course) actually went pretty well. It's a 15-person discussion-based course, so there's a lot of participation involved. I feel that I contributed enough to sound mildly intelligent, but managed to keep my mouth shut when I didn't know what the hell I was talking about (unlike certain OTHER members of said class). Done and done. Post-class, Lynn and I returned to my abode to partake in some lunch, followed by some dress shopping (still need damn dress for Dad's wedding). Lynn and I met up with Susan at Marshall's. I bought some new basketball sneakers on ubersale, but no dress. Went to Guess outlet. Bought awesome stripey jeans, but no dress. Went to J. Crew outlet, took one look around, and promptly left. Ran out of time to go to any other outlets. Had to return for class at 2. Stopped for "stuffed" snowcones (they've got a vanilla ice cream layer in the middle) on the way back. Managed to quasi-accidentally come out to Lynn in the car, which turned out rather well. She was totally cool with it (I expected nothing less. She rules, and she's always kinda "gotten" me.). Rushed off to class. Realized just outside my destination that my fly had been down since GOD KNOWS WHEN. Arrived just in time, but was seized by violent abdominal cramps about 5 minutes into class (perhaps Captain Lactose Intolerant should not have eaten ice cream and pasta with CHEESE sauce for lunch). I could feel the rumbling and the shit shivers (thank you, Pisser), but I didn't want to get up and leave, because the professor is a royal douchebag and would have called me out. SOOOO, I discretely popped a few Immodium (I always have some in my bag, just in case. Whew!) to avoid soiling myself and sat uncomfortably through the remainder of class. As soon as we were dismissed, I made a b-line for the b-room and had a major assplosion. Not pretty. Lucky (for them) no one else was in there. Once I'd regained my composure, I hiked back to my car (a long, hot, torturous journey), checked my campus mailbox (STILL no heart medication, dammit!), and finally made it home to GhettoFab, which now smells less like wet dog and more like a dead wet dog's ass. Lovely.