A Series of Unfortunate Events

or FUCK YOU, Paypal and Suntrust!

It happened like this:

Late last week, I bought something on eBay for about 8 bucks. I used Paypal to pay for said item. I clicked the "pay with credit card" option, but for some reason the goddamned thing charged my bank account. The only bank account I have listed on my Paypal account is my old Suntrust account, which I had emptied but had not yet gotten around to closing because the bank is NEVER OPEN except for when I'm at work and I can't leave work during the day because I don't have a lunch break. This resulted in an overdraft of my Suntrust account, which cost me a 32-dollar fee. I complained to Paypal's customer service e-mail people, but they said that there was "not sufficient evidence" to support my claim, so I am responsible for the fees I incurred. Great.

I was able to slip out of work for a while today because of all of my bosses (those that haven't been FIRED in the last week, which is a long story for another time) are in a big meeting, so I walked over to the bank to close my account once and for all. They told me I owed them 72 bucks. Apparently they charge you ANOTHER 32-dollar fee if your account balance is negative for longer than 7 days. This would have been nice to know. The overly loud and condescending assistant manager said that it's stated on the overdraft notices. The problem is that they're still sending all my bank-related mail to my old address, so I haven't gotten any of it.

So I swore under my breath, walked across Dupont Circle to Bank of America, withdrew some cash to pay the fees, and then walked back to Suntrust and disgruntledly paid up and closed my account. They didn't even ask me why I, a customer for over 6 years, was leaving the bank. Good riddance!