I know you like to think your shit don't stink...

OR Snooty Bitches, The Next Generation

It starts in elementary/grade school: the division of the classes. I'm not talking grade levels here; I'm talking about social classes: the prisses, the preps, the jocks, the tomboys, the geeks and nerds (which, contrary to popular belief, are separate entities, but that's a post in and of itself), the thugs, etc. There can be a certain degree of interclass mobility before the age of 12, but once you hit middle school/junior high, you are, as a general rule, stuck in whatever track you're on.

I was, for the most part, always a nerd, but I was one of those rare drifters, able to travel between groups almost seamlessly, dabbling band geekdom, jockdom, and "popular" club membership. Outside of my small, close-knit group of friends (all of whom I'd known since we were wee), however, I didn't really make much of a social impression. My presence just wasn't felt -- I was a nonentity. I was too nerdy to be a jock, too athletic to be a nerd, too band-geeky to be popular, and too popular to be a band geek.

Then I went to college. This was my chance to break free of the social shackles of my earlier schooling experiences! A fresh start! I could be and do whatever I wanted! But I quickly found myself in a niche strikingly similar to the one I had always occupied. I had a small, close group of friends (for whom I am still, of course, grateful), outside of which I didn't do much of anything. The only difference this time was that I realized that this is what I really wanted -- this social no-man's-land is where I belong. It was an epiphany.

But I still hate those clique-ish bitches who look down their noses at me and my kind because we don't fit into their preordained group(s). They giggled at us behind our backs in 4th grade when we played kickball and told dirty jokes with the boys on the playground instead of jumping rope and perching atop the monkey bars to gossip. They snubbed us when we didn't want to dress up and go to the middle school cotillion. They ignored us and didn't invite us to their parties in high school, even when we tried so hard and compromised so much to fit in. They turned up their noses and looked at us with condescension and disdain when we didn't have the right Greek letters (or, even worse, no Greek letters at all) emblazoned on our shirts.

I realize now that I was naive to think that such snobbery would be limited to school. Of course it, like so many other nasty habits, carries over into the workplace. It's human nature. Everyone breaks off into their respective cliques at company gatherings. Certain people get invited to after-work happy hours, but certain others are left out of the loop. Those snooty bitches stop chattering and avoid making eye contact with you every time you walk into the lunch room.

But even here at work, I have my own little nonclique (which I guess is kind of a clique, even if it is only by default); the three women with whom I share my tiny basement office are sometimes the only thing keeping me from turning into "that quiet chick in the basement who may or may not punch you in the neck if you look at her the wrong way." We hole up in our little cave and comment upon the insanity that surrounds us on a daily basis; we cover for each other when we're late in the morning or take extra-long lunches; we are all up in each others' business, if for no reason other than the fact that we're crammed together in such close quarters. At times we feel as if we are the sole bastions of decency in an otherwise ludicrous environment. We fucking rawk.

Take that, you snooty bitches!