serious update

Okay, so lately I've been clogging my blog with a lot of pointless, soulless drivel because I felt compelled to post, but I didn't have time to think about or deal with anything of a serious, consequential nature. Now, during the first hour of my last day of Thanksgiving Break, as I sip on a slightly-too-strong white russian, I shall make an attempt to gather my thoughts and emotions and convey them as best I can via HTML.

These last few weeks have been absolutely insane. I haven't had any more commitments on my plate than usual, but I think all the decisions I've made (and those decisions I must make in the near future) and all the circumstances with which I've been dealing (and continue to deal with) have started catching up with me. I'm not one to tackle each tiny issue as it comes along; I avoid, I delay, I squirrel it all away in some deep, dark recess of my psyche, and then when my psyche overflows and all my issues surface simultaneously, I flip out in various fun and exciting ways. I've been extremely fortunate to have a supportive group of friends and family (okay, mostly just my dad in the family arena) to help keep me grounded. A few examples:

(1) I came home from a 5-hour research paper stint at the library last week, and my wonderful roommate had cleaned the whole apartment. I ran into her room and gave her a huge hug. She thought I was drunk.
(2) The night before my big research paper was due, I stayed in the library 'til it closed at midnight, and C (fellow copy editor, Skip's girlfriend, and recent "instafriend" -- her term) IMed me and told me to swing by her place on campus when I was finished. She mixed me a drink and gave me a lovely backrub, and we talked about what's been stressing us out.
(3) Lynn and Susan have been extremely tolerant of my recent moping. The other night, they had me over for homemade pizza and Shrek 2 and let me sulk on their couch with minimal mocking.
(4) Yesterday my dad and I walked to the coffee shop downtown, got mochas, and talked practically about my plans for next year. Dad has a serious calming effect on me when it comes to finances and the like.
(5) My best friend, Athena, called me up this evening to see if I wanted to get together and say goodbye before she headed out of town (she didn't know I was already gone).
(6) My stepmom knitted me a fun fuzzy scarf and re-taught me how to knit (my grandmother taught me years ago).
(7) I received some really sweet personal emails of encouragement from several bloggers over the last few weeks.

So I really do consider myself lucky. I have some amazing people in my life, and I am extremely grateful for each and every one of them.

I am just so burned out. This coming week is the last week of classes, which will be followed by two weeks of finals. My last exam is on the 16th. I am tired of school. I want it to be over NOW. Going home for Thanksgiving was nice, but it was a cruelly fleeting taste of delicious freedom... like the teeny tiny samples they give you at Costco, and then they yell at you when you come back for more, so you switch coats with your friend and hope they'll think you're a different person, but it never works, and they just get even more angry at you and ask you to leave the store.

Ahem. Anyway. I have to present a paper to my biology class on Tuesday... I'm basically in charge of teaching the class and leading the discussion. Scary. Especially because I haven't started on my presentation yet. My final project/paper for my history class is due on Friday. Also not started. 0 for 2, Killy... good job. So needless to say, tomorrow will be a hardcore homework day, with occaisional breaks to do some laundry.

And I do want to set up the Atari at some point. I dug the old Atari 2600 game system out of the attic while I was home! The thing is older than I am, I swear. It was a hand-me-down from my older cousins. But we played that thing ALL THE TIME when I was a kid. I am the master of Pitfall and Missile Command. I will also kick anyone's ass at Video Pinball and Ms. Pacman. I could only find one joystick, so I'm gonna look on Ebay for another one. But I should probably see if I can even hook it up to the TV first. It may not be compatible, 'cause the system is so goddamn old.



So I've got plenty to keep me busy these next few weeks. If I survive with my sanity intact, it will be a miracle. And I will most definitely need a hug. And a massage. And a cookie. And some ass.

In fact, I'll take those right now, thanks.