Everybody's Doing It

(OR Cop-out post because I'm too tired to be creative)

Actually, before I do the whole bigass list thing, here's a few updates. Louie's vet appointment went well; he got some heartworm medication and flea treatment and an antibiotic 'cause he's been sneezing. A hundred and thirty-seven bucks later, everythings hunky dorey. Funny thing of the day: Beth and Kat found this little baggie of what appears to be weed on the table in their dining room. No one knows where it came from, but they think it must belong to the ANCIENT repair man who was there last week. A bunch of us gathered at Beth's for a spaghetti dinner tonight, and many laughs were had by all. After I shuttled one friend home, I decided it was now or never and backtracked to Beth's. I rang the doorbell and fought the panicked urge to run. She opened the door, visibly concerned, as she wasn't expecting me to return. But she invited me in and we talked. Basically, I just wanted to clear the air, because I feel like I freaked her out when I came out and she's been acting kinda weird. As it turns out, she had miscontrued some of the asinine flirty remarks I am apt to make (even before I came out) and thought I was hitting on her. This made her uncomfortable, which subsequently made ME uncomfortable, and it was just one big Discomfortfest. I assured her that, despite the fact that she is hot, I was not hitting on her and I would never do anything that would jeopardize our friendship. I told her she's one of my best friends, and I started to cry (which I almost never do). We hugged, sat in awkward silence, then promptly changed the subject to something more light-hearted. Things are back to normal.

And on that note...

FIRST'S
First best friend: Athena... still best friends after all these years (ever since we both moved in to the same neighborhood when we were five).
First car: Black 1993 Honda Del Sol. I loved that car, but only having one passenger seat (not to mention restricted storage space) ceased to be practical.
First real kiss: SketchyJosh, a guy I worked with over the summer who wouldn't stop harassing me, so I finally went out with him. I kissed him just because I'd never done it before. I was 19.
First break-up: I don't know if you could really call it a breakup, as we were never "serious", but I told Zach I just wanted to be friends with him last month.
First screen name: ktgymrat on AIM
First self purchased album: Don't laugh. DC Talk "Jesus Freak".
First funeral: Officer T., a police officer who'd taught my self-defense class in high school. He was shot in the line of duty when I was about 16.
First pet: well, we found a turtle near my house and named it Lightning when I was really little, but my first "real" pet was a miniature schnauzer named Dodger. We got him when I was 5 and had him for 14 years.
First piercing/tattoo: first and only piercing (thus far) is one hole in each ear when I was 12 or 13. No ink.
First credit card: I got a "student" Visa card my senior year in high school (grade 12)... it had a $300 limit. Lame.
First enemy: Selena, the creepy chick from up the street... she was a nose-picker and a chapstick-eater.
First big trip: I'm sure we visited family in upstate New York and went on beach trips to North Carolina all the time when I was a little kid, but the first "big trip" I remember is when we flew down to Florida and went to Disney World when I was 8 or 9.
First music you remember hearing in your house: My parents listened to a lot of James Taylor and a lot of contemporary Christian music.

LAST'S

Last cigarette: First and only cigarette was a month or two ago.
Last car ride: I got back from driving Louie to the vet a few hours ago (got lost on the way to the vet... stupid roads.)
Last kiss: Other than from my cat, uh, I'd have to say way back in August before I broke it off with Zach.
Last good cry: July, after I found out what shit was going on with my mom's CRAZY husband.
Last library book checked out: It's been so long, I don't even remember... because I'm a science major, I never really have to check out books for my research papers; I use scientific journals and stuff.
Last book bought: The Ultimate Hitchhiker's Guide, by Douglas Adams
Last movie seen: The Butterfly Effect, which was lot better than I thought it'd be. I love a good mind-fuck movie!
Last beverage drank: merlot with dinner
Last food consumed: spaghetti and garlic bread
Last phone call: Lynn called to tell me she dropped by but I must not have heard the door because I had fallen asleep face-down on my reading AGAIN.
Last time showered: this morning, before class
Last shoes worn: my kick-ass bright green-ish teal Adidas Gazelles. I shall post a picture at some point. I'm the Sneaker Queen.
Last item bought: paid vet bill for Louie and bought his heartworm meds
Last annoyance: I am in a state of CONSTANT annoyance, but I guess I'd go with waking up and discovering that I had once again fallen asleep face-down on my reading.
Last time wanting to die: Summer before last, when I was spending the summer taking physics here at school. Too much time alone for reflection, too much shit going on in my life, and at that point I'd never been in therapy (that's when I started). It was really touch-and-go there for awhile with the whole "wanting to keep living" thing. Now that I look back on it, it's really scary how close I came to offing myself. I'm so glad I didn't!

RELATIONSHIPS
Who are your best friends? My bestest friend in the whole wide world is Athena, but I also have a wonderful group of very good friends, including Gwen, Lynn, Beth, Hillary, Susan, and Jo
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? ha! no.

FASHION STUFF
Where is your favorite place to shop? For clothes? Anywhere cheap (lately it's been Marshall's). I'd shop at thrift stores if we had any decent ones around here. But my favorite store EVER is Best Buy... I'm all about some bargains on CDs and DVDs.
Any tattoos or piercings? just one hole in each ear... but I've given thought to some more ear-holes.

SPECIFICS
Do you do drugs? About 5 different kinds every day. Prescription only.
What kind of shampoo do you use? It varies. Right now I've got John Frieda's Brilliant Brunette in the shower (heh... I WISH I had an actual brilliant brunette in the shower... )
What are you most scared of? failure
What are you listening to right now? the sound of the air conditioner running
Where do you want to get married? I don't even know if I want to get married at all. I'm kinda diggin' the idea of dying sad and alone in a muumuu and being discovered days later, half-eaten by my 40 cats.
How many buddies are online right now? I have a shitload of people on AIM, most of whom I never/rarely talk to, so 64.
What would you change about yourself? I'd be more confident and have smaller thighs (damn you, mother for giving me your thunderthighs!)

FAVOURITES
Color: blue, I guess
Food: lemon chicken oregano dish that my mom always made when I was growing up. Also, Jelly Bellies, Route 11 Dill Pickle Chips, and Ben and Jerry's Chubby Hubby or Coffee Heath Bar Crunch.
Boy's names: Samuel Miles (family name)
Girl's names: Rachel, Rebecca, Elizabeth, Samantha
Subjects in school: my favorite class at the moment is my women's history class, but I always liked English
Animals: I'm a dog person, and I've always had a thing for teddy bears and chimps.
Sports: basketball, track and field
Perfume: don't wear any

HAVE YOU EVER
Given anyone a bath? Nope.
Smoked? once
Bungee jumped? oh HELL naw!
Made yourself throw up? No. I hate throwing up.
Skinny dipped? Nope, but I have streaked!
Been in love? Nah.
Made yourself cry to get out of trouble? I've tried, but I can't.
Pictured your crush naked? mmm... yes.
Actually seen your crush naked? Never.
Cried when someone died? Of course.
Lied? Never. Oh, damn... there I go again.
Fallen for your best friend? Nope... I love you, Athena... just not that way ;-)
Been rejected? More times than I'd care to remember.
Rejected someone? Once or twice.
Used someone? Yeah. I'm a bad person.
Done something you regret? I usually regret the things I DON'T do.

CURRENT
Clothes: slightly too-small stretch jeans (not hot), roxy t-shirt, navy blue adidas rip-off jacket, bright green-teal adidas sneakers of joy
Music: the last song I listened to was "Other Side" by David Gray
Make-up: a little bit of foundation, as I'm PMSing, so (as Beth would say) I have "face leprosy", some dark-gray eyeliner and a little mascara. I usually don't bother with the stuff, but I felt oddly motivated today.
Annoyance: stupid motherfuckers who drive too slow
Smell: Gross catfart. He needs to cut that out.
Favorite artist: I've always like Escher. And Lynn's editorial cartoons kick much ass.
Desktop picture: a random picture from explodingdog.com
CD in Player: Butch Walker "Letters"
DVD in player: the original Little Shop of Horrors with Jack Nicholson... haven't watched it yet
Colour of toenails: "burgundy wine"

LAST PERSON
You touched: Beth (hugged)
Hugged: Beth
You imed: my sister
You kissed: I kiss Louie regularly. The last PERSON I kissed was my dad, on the cheek when he visited in September. The last KISS-kiss was Zach, sometime in August. I miss kissing.

ARE YOU
Understanding: usually
Open-minded: I like to think so
Arrogant: I try not to be, but superior feelings sometimes get the better of me
Insecure: most of the time
Interesting: I entertain myself, but I'm probably boring to everyone else.
Hungry: ALWAYS.
Smart: compared to the rest of the population, yes. here at school, I'm starting to feel pretty stupid. This place sucks your will to live, man.
Moody: God, yes.
Hardworking: less so than I used to be, but I still get the job done.
Organized: borderline OCD (but you couldn't tell by looking at my desk)
Healthy: No. I've gotten lazy and haven't worked out in ages, I eat crap all the time, and I'm sickly anyway due to goddamn genetics. Stupid heart and lungs.
Shy: I'm shy by nature (used to hide behind Dad when I was little), but I've learned to MAKE myself be more outgoing.
Attractive: Every once in awhile I'll have a "hot day", but mostly I just feel awkward and heinous.
Bored easily: Not really. If I'm bored I can just take a nap, and that's FINE with me.
Responsible: Yes. Sometimes to the point of my own detriment.
Obsessed: I've been known to fixate upon things on occaision.
Angry: I'm quite easily enraged. I should work on that.
Sad: Only if I reflect too extensively on things that bum me out.
Disappointed: frequently
Happy: my life doesn't suck
Hyper: sometimes, depends on my mood and how punchy I am from sugar/caffeine/lack of sleep
Trusting: There was a time when I was. Now I'm fuckin' jaded. Thanks, Mom!
Talkative: Once I get to know you, I will not shut up (I agree, c'lam!)
Legal: For the most part. Though driving fast is one of my major vices (ooh, I'm soooo badass. heh).

WHO DO YOU WANNA
Kill: I don't approve of killing people. But if I did, it's probably be Dr. Coleman, my ratbastard biochem professor.
Slap: Usually my sister, and DEFINITELY my stepdad.
Get high with: Beth and Hillary (we're planning on it at some point before we graduate)
Look like: Kate Beckinsale in Underworld
Talk to offline: Athena
Talk to online: Athena (I haven't talked to her in WEEKS!)

WHICH IS BETTER
Coke or Pepsi: I'm on a Coke kick at the moment, especially Cherry Coke!
Flowers or candy: Candy. I'm like a man... the way to my heart is through my stomach. If you really love me, GIVE ME SOME GODDAMN CHOCOLATE. Ahem, thank you.
Tall or short: For the ladies, it doesn't really matter to me, although it might be kinda weird if she was really, really short, like under 5 feet. If I had my druthers, the dude would be taller than me (I'm about 5'10"), but I'm really not that picky. I've known some really hot short men.

RANDOM
In the morning I am: groggy and REALLY FUCKING CRANKY. my voice gets all gravelly, too. sexy.
All I need are: friends, family, pet(s), and music... a little more money would be nice, too.
Love is: a bitch, but totally worth it.
I dream about: really weird shit, of which I only remember disjointed fragments
What do you notice first: smile and eyes
Last person you danced with: BigMark at Angel's wedding reception
Worst question to ask: Worst question I'VE been asked: "How are you today, YOUNG MAN?"
Who makes you laugh the most: Beth and Pisser
Who makes you smile: Hillary is the most genuinely cheerful person I know. I can't help but smile when I see her.
Who gives you a funny feeling when you see them: the hot chick in my bio class *sigh*
Who has a crush on you: no one, as far as I know *sarcastic tear* ::nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I guess I'll go eat.... EVERYTHING IN SIGHT::
Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: many a time
Wish you were younger: only in the sense that I wish I could go back and redo some things. But for the most part, it's pretty sweet being 21 :-)

NUMBER OF
Of guys I've kissed: 3
Of girls I've kissed: none really. I fake-kissed Lynn at her 21st birthday party... we had our thumbs over each other's mouths, but the guys still thought it was hot ;-)

IT'S OVER! If you made it this far, you seriously have too much time on your hands.