All in a day's work...

Over the course of today, I managed to forget my umbrella, causing me to be completely soaked by the time I arrived at work; misplace (okay, straight up lose) an important file; completely lose control of my remote coworkers, resulting in a nearly 2-hour-long conference call that accomplished next to nothing; get bitched at by some random lawyer's receptionist who dialed my number by mistake; and accidentally steal a coworker's chocolate milk (long story).

I believe my work here is done.

I also believe I need a drink.

Addendum: Later in the evening, as I was preparing to change my bed sheets, I came to the frustrating realization that my only other set of sheets was mysteriously missing. I searched high and low, emptying all of my drawers, tearing apart my closet, and grilling the only 3 of my 5 roommates who were home. I concluded that the sheets were gone, likely taken by the asshole exroommate who recently moved to Australia after having stopped by the house to pick up the piles of his shit that had been taking up space in our basement for over 6 months. I resigned myself to a single-sheet-set fate, replete with the horrors of my hideous, unmatched current sheet set, the top-sheet half of which is printed with what can only be described as a "pink floral explosion."

As it turns out, one of the Frenchmen arrived home later on and explained that he mistook the sheets for his and put them on his bed over the weekend. I was almost disappointed, because I took a certain kind of pleasure in blaming asshole exroommate for the disappearance of my bed linens. Then I realized that I wouldn't have to buy new sheets, and that was worth more to me than all the righteous indignation in the world. But righteous indignation comes in a close second.