Assholes Young and Old

I actually left the house on time this morning. I got up when my alarm went off, I showered, dressed, tried to do something with my hair that didn't make me look like a 14-year-old boy (I mostly failed in that respect), fed the cat, and then left the house around 8:30, leaving ample time for me to catch the N2 bus that would (theoretically) get me to work on time.

Fate, however, did not want me to break my being-late-to-work streak, and the bus broke down in front of the Naval Observatory on Massachusetts Avenue (because Metro does not "open doors;" it closes them. It slams them right in your face and then laughs... but that's beside the point). Apparently the hydraulic lift thing that allows the bus to "kneel" lost air pressure, and the bus got stuck in the "kneeling" position, rendering it undriveable. The driver was very nice about the whole situation. The asshole standing next to me, however, was not. He was the quintessential self-important Washingtonian: late 20s/early 30s, expensive suit, nice leather briefcase (with which he continually "accidentally" hit me in the leg), cell phone, rolling eyes, sighing, checking his watch every five minutes. He finally ended up stealing a cab from the old lady standing in front of him, who had hailed it, a mere minute or two before the next bus showed up. I'm sure he was very, very important.

So all the remaining passengers from the now defunct N2 bus boarded the incoming N2, which was already almost full. We were packed into that bus like sardines in a can (and, to be honest, it did smell a little fishy... eew). A nice young man gave up his seat for the cranky old codger who was standing in front of me. And then, as I stood there, wedged in the center aisle between the courteous young man who gave up his seat and a tall guy whose neck really needed to be shaved, the Cranky Old Codger (or, as I like to call him, the COC), now sitting pretty in the young man's former seat, had the gall to ask me to "give him some space" to read his newspaper. I just looked at him, unable to find polite words to explain that I had no room to move. Fortunately, the next stop was mine, and I was able to exit the bus without perpetrating a justifiable but regrettable act of violence against the COC.

Thank you for riding Metro. Have a nice day.