My Very First Shit-List on the New Blog!

Things that annoyed me today (and will probably continue to annoy me for years to come):

~ Asshats who feel compelled to blab on their cell phones while strolling around campus at the buttcrack of dawn. Seriously, who the hell do you so desperately need to talk to before your 8am Intro to Fuckwittage class? No one thinks you're cool. No one.

~ The fact that I'm a dumbass and scheduled huge Grand Canyon-sized breaks between my classes, but I live off campus, so there's no way in HELL I'm abandoning my precious parking space to go home for a few measely hours. I therefore must camp out at the University Center with the freshmen and the Breakfast Crowd.

~ Lack of decent food, despite recent grocery shopping.

~ Perpetual state of disarray of my desk.

~ The fact that OCPs are not smoosh-resistant in a backpack.

~ The fact that my 8am history class doesn't suck and is actually pretty cool, thus making it unlikely that I will drop it, so I will have to wake my ass up by at least 7 every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. I'm a senior, goddammit! No fair!

~ Morons who walk by and fucking stare at me, mouthes agape in slack-jawed fascination.

~ The fact that I feel like a underachiever at this damn school because I only have one fucking major.

~ Being mistaken for a goddamn freshman.

~ Ricockulous humidity and the humidiperm it gives my hair.

~ The fact that the campus mail gnomes always MANGLE my magazines. And I swear they read them before they deliver them, too -- they're always all dog-eared and arrive really late... and sometimes they're missing the cologne samples. So somewhere there's a campus mail gnome prancing about, smelling like Cool Water and reading my Time magazine.

~ The fact that my bloody prescription has STILL not arrived.

~ Tom Cruise. I just want to punt him.

~ Forming stoopid crushlettes on unattainable people. (Hint: not Tom Cruise. Maybe he's a mail gnome!)

Things that did not annoy me today (happy things!):

~ Listening to "Smack My Bitch Up" as I write this (originally on a notepad), surrounded by clueless freshmen in the University Center.

~ OCPs, smashed or not.

~ Mix CDs... IIIIIIIIII'm hooked on a feelin'! (Oogachaka, oogachaka)

~ Actually finding a parking space closer than Djibouti. It was in Guam.

~ I get down, I get down, I get down all the way.

~ People-watching.

~ Watching people trip and fall.

~ Forming stoopid crushlettes on unattainable people. (Hint: not the guy who tripped and fell.)