overstressed, underqualified, and unemployed

So I've been browsing Monster.com for jobs in the DC/Metro area... and I have come to the terrifying realization that I am universally underqualified. I've actually been LAUGHING OUT LOUD at some of the "entry-level" job descriptions, thinking "there's no way in HELL I could do that!" I highly doubt that any biochemisupercalifragilistitech company would hire a recent college grad who rocked a big fat D in biochemistry. Not to mention the fact that I haven't done any lab work in over a year. Oops! Although I did find one job listing that's right up my alley. The duties include:

-Autoclave all pipette pans and chemical waste bags.
-Wash all dirty glassware.
-Sterilize buffers.
-Enter receiving from invoices to computer database.

The job is listed as a "Medical Laboratory Technician Assistant." It is actually "Medical Laboratory Cleanup Bitch/Secretary." That, I can do.

I'm also a whiz with a Xerox machine. I've been complimented many a time on my superior photocopying skills. Kinkos, here I come!