Alma Mater, Hail.

Sweet Baby Jesus on a Stick! This is getting out of control. So apparently on the first day of Homecoming Weekend, a 39-year-old alum died in the English building. We all received an email about it, and they told us that no "foul play" was suspected. Today I heard speculation that the poor guy offed himself. Which has been known to happen around here. We have a (generally unfounded) reputation for having a high suicide rate. But after the year before last (2 suicides, 2 accidental deaths) and this most recent mysterious passing, who knows...

This is the same building in which a student GAVE BIRTH last year. I think that's really a testament to how ridiculously hardcore we are here. Seriously, woman, if you're that pregnant, stay the fuck home! OY!

So the Circle of Life is once again completed within the confines of Tucker Hall (which, by the way, is also HAUNTED). I SO need to get out of this place.